The hummingbird

Sometimes I think to myself: my life feels like a movie. But well, not anymore. Now I think to myself: my life feels like a book! I remember when I read The Raven, Poe's short story, and how freaky it was. Well, now I'm experiencing something similar! But with an hummingbird! For the past 3 days, it always comes at the same time, stays a couple of minutes looking into my office and then leaves. It feels like it is bringing me a message or something, and that freaks me out a bit! It also reminds me of Matrix (ok, so my life can still be a movie) and the appearence of the bird is just a deja vu that warns me that this reality isn't real at all! (So Morpheus, care to call and ask about the pills?). If I see that bird again I'm calling a doctor!

Twilight

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
Better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
But don't wanna see the day when it's dying

She's a sight to see
She's good to me
(But I'm already somebody's baby)
She's a pretty thing
And she knows everything
(But I'm already somebody's baby)

You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together

I'm nice to you
I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile
If you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby

Because your candle burns too bright
Well I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well I'm tired of being down, I got no fight

You're wonderful
When it's beautiful
(But I'm already somebody's baby)
And if i went with you
I'd disappoint you too
(Well I'm already somebody's baby)

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If I could re-write this song, changing just a couple of lines, it would be the perfect mirror of my soul at this moment.

It can't rain all the time...

So please, help me keeping the rain away. If this is meant to be, don't let our raindrops fall on me...

I could escape

And she says... shhhh! oh she says...!

Another future

You can choose.
You can decide.
It's your will.
It's my desire.
It's our mistake
or maybe
It's our fate.

I make a move.
You don't look back.
I hold your hand.
You grab mine back.
It's not our past.
Is it meant to last?
Prepare to clash!

It's our soundtrack.
It's our motion picture.
You ran from him.
You run to me.
I keep you close.
I give you my dream.
Give me your life.

Lose yourself

What a weekend!

Friday was the Rock and Roll party, and though I'm a bit mad at the dj (how couldn't he understand that some songs weren't rock and roll? oh dear lord...), it was a great party, we did good profit, we had a lot of fun, most got drunk ahah, and we got to dress up for the joy and fun of it as you can see below...



Saturday was a day to chill... with some special moments!

And Sunday.. Barbecue at K'ramba mansion!

Me sighs!

Mirror Mirror

Sometimes it seems like the days just fly by and you don't know the reasons why.
And sometimes you have so much to write about and not even a single word comes to your head.
Or worse, when they do, you must keep them to yourself because the world isn't ready for them.
However, I still have my mirrors to enquire, to search through a blurred image caused by my hangover bloodshot eyes that tend to forget what the mind cares to erase.
Enough ramblings for today, this ain't no poetry workshop to lay vain words.
I had an amazing week, loads of parties, non-sleeping nights, trips, barbecues, football, you name it! Even if you do mistakes it seems like the world is nevertheless ready to wave back at you and give away a smile.
This week, well, I'll try to behave, at least until friday, when we'll have a Rock 'n' Roll party! And let me tell you again, it's not easy to organize this things, but after doing it you have this feeling of satisfaction and you have some rewards to help you through! Let's hope it goes as well as the pirate party did!
Stay tuned for more!

The sky is a landfill

Hmm.. Just had an amazing weekend! Friday night we all went out and we headed to K'ramba to discuss the plans for the coming party! It will on the 23rd April, so time for the committee to work. Remy was the host there and we all celebrated the deal with some very nice shots, and it was a very very long night..!
The next day... well I went to France again! (It's sooo far away..) This time Nancy was the destination. A very nice city, way better then Metz (the closest one) although wherever you would look you would see a kebab restaurant and turkish weddings. France is losing its identity or, in a more polite way, is turning into a new America, a true melting pot?
Sunday was a day to chill after the fun, so we all went to Cassie's place to watch some movies and drink some cold Sagres beers and to eat some delicious fajitas!
And well, today is monday again... and a hard day it will be! I have to work until five, but then I have french and german classes till 9 pm.. and I'll probably go for some beers after, although I know I shouldn't, but who cares anyway, right?

Up all night

This is the song that sums up my week, so no need to write an explanatory entry when the lyrics to the song just say it all! Enjoy it ;)

Up all night

I lost the sacred feeling
But I made a couple of friends
And now our things have never looked so good
Our things have never been so clear...

And now I'm all alone here
And I'm always up all night
And I get the music ringing in my head
And I, I lose the strength to fight...

Cause I've been up all night,
She's been up all night,
We're just up all night...

This town is for the counterfeit dreams
And maybe I'm one too
Well I, I keep my hand behind my back
When I don't know what else to do...

The streets that I grew up in
they might mean nothing to you
But I, I'll show you where I come from
If you please just tell me what I'm supposed to do...

That sweet and sacred feeling,
You know, will never last long
Every time you turn around
It seems one more part of me, yes, It's gone...

And I need your spirit darling
And I need your helping hand
And I'll meet you in the morning
When I've broken up the band...



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Push the limits

"the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you are going and just enjoy where you are at!"

We all think about the future don't we? If only we could predict things and hence change them when we want them to be different... The thing is I'm now thinking: hum, when will I get back? how will I get back? where will I go? I have this feeling that I have no home to go anywhere anymore, I'm homesick without knowing where home is, I'm homeless although I have a roof, because I know that everything is uncertain and that nothing is clear about my future. I love the carpe diem and the memento mori ideas, I do, and I usually stick to them, but well we all need to stop and think sometimes. And so I did, so it's done. Now? No more thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, just thinking about today, because the future is all about what you do in the present, so you know what to do...!

Kismet

Kismet means something like Fate or Destiny in turkish, and so as you may easily guess it can be used when we speak about something we believe it's already meant to be. But Kismet is a bit more than that. It's a whole sequence of events that no matter how you try to avoid or modify them they will happen anyway, 'cause they are the reason why you are alive, they are the plot you must follow, willingly or not, consciously or not, so you can fulfil your role. So do you think you are here for a reason? Do you believe in Kismet? I believe that there's a reason for everything that happens to us, but at the same time I think we shouldn't behave like a boat sailing in the ocean with no port to reach, we must find our goals, we must know and decide what we want to fight for, and if we do, Kismet will take care of the rest... ;)

An envoy to the open fields!

No matter what: life is beautiful! :D

And so here are some pictures of my new life!

At Grund...



At Cents...



At Pirate Party...



At Rock box...

Uncomfortable silences and alcohol

"In the end, it's the «what ifs» that hurt the most. What if things had gone a little differently?"

And so it is. Sometimes I just sit and wonder about things that could have gone the other way. You know what I mean? When for example you decide to take a leap of faith, when you think you’re doing the best thing and it’s worth to take the risk, but it turns out you just f*cked things up. It doesn't mean it's your fault though. Sometimes it ain't nobody's fault. Just bad timing? Can be. Someone once told me that timing is the most important thing in life, sometimes are not the words or actions that matter, not the way you say or do things, but when. Unfortunately I have a very bad karma when it comes to timing. I usually create this butterfly effect or snowball movement that just changes everything for the worst. I used to have good instincts (although I confess I never ever cared about them, and I'm glad cause I might have lost even more if I listened to those voices whispering fears into my head) but now even those scared spirits that walked around seemed to have disappeared. And so I go and do my thing. Shame on me. Or not. But anyway, I'm usually so sure I thought things deeply and cautiously and ‘cause I did so I'm free to take a move and so I do, although only when the moment comes I realize I haven't really thought things up. But what’s the point of living a life in fear? What’s the point of not following your dreams? Why give up of something without even trying? Yes, sometimes we lose. But yes, sometimes we win! But there’s always one thing that never abandons you… that feeling of: “what if…”. What if I turned right instead of turning left? What would have changed? Would I be happier? Would I be sadder? Would I even be here? One thing I know for sure, no matter how many and how disturbing some “what ifs” may be, I never regret the things I did, I never regret the words I said, because if I did or said them then it means they were true and real to me. And if fate is on our side, sooner or later things will work out right. We need patience, we need courage, we need some faith, but most important of all we need to take the risks and be strong enough to not be consumed by the "what ifs" that will always taunt us. My words will always be real. You just need to believe in them. I'll be here.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances and how it’s just about overcoming your fears 'cause the truth is every time you take a big risk in your life no matter how it ends up you are always glad you took it"