The end

And this is the end of the blog.
I had two options: or to write a lot or to write just a little bit, to avoid emotional details.
So I prefer to make no use of my words this time and just... say goodbye.
The adventure is over.
Thank you all for reading and making me company here in this virtual domain.
Pedro

The heart

And today is the release date of what may be my favourite album from 2010 (from what i've heard so far, and for the music and musician in it which never dissapointed me). The album is Called: the heart. It's by Jimmy Gnecco, Ours' frontman. Here's a taste...



"And I, I really want to bring you home... to your heart"

Ours

Holding on to these words..



(...)

What were you here for?
What will you find?
Could I save your life, like you saved mine?

Wait until the morning comes around
Wait for something beautiful
Wait to see if worry turns around
Wait, please wait

I tried to keep you from
Everything that was
So difficult for me

But it makes you strong
When you hurt so long
I'll put it all in faith that you won't leave

And I'll wait until the morning comes around
Wait for something beautiful
Wait to see if worry turns around
Wait, I'll wait

(...)

A moment in time

Back from home

And so we went to Portugal!
First day arriving in Porto, but going straight to Lisbon where we stayed with Sónia and where we visited places like Mosteiro dos Jerónimos or Torre de Belém, we also ate Pastéis de belém and drank some Ginjinha and Licor Beirão at Bairro Alto!
The next day we visited among other stuff the Expo 98 and the Oceanarium! We had lunch with some friends and at night we went to Castelo Branco to meet other friends, go to património and end the night at the castle ;)
The next day we visited Jardim do Paço, Parque da Cidade, Sé, and so many ither places in my beautiful home town and the next day we went to Porto to meet João, eat some francesinhas and visit Ribeira, Ponte D.Luís, Aliados, Clérigos, and so many more!
This was just to give you all a taste of how great it was!

Everyday you grow stronger and stronger in me :)

Tour de Portugal

No, I'm not talking about a cycling event ;)
This friday until the next tuesday I'll be doing the Tour of Portugal , to show an amazing country to an even more amazing person ;)

God only wants you

Two musical masterpieces that were turned into one horror videoclip of high quality! This is how art should be, where the different types can combine and be even better together!

Enjoy

live again

What's life but a dream? ;)

Dreaming light

I just discovered Anathema's new album! It's been such a long time since the last release! I've seen them last year in May, it was amazing! I even met Danny! A very nice night in Porto! The funny thing about Anathema is that they started off as black/doom metal, screaming voices, heavy guitars, anti-god lyrics, pure despair, and so on.. and now, as years go by, they're changing, but in a natural and amazing way, they're finally seeing the light in the end of the tunnel. This album shows us exactly that, a album of light, hope, and feelings that seem so new and pure to them, like love.

So here I share the song and the lyrics to my favourite song of this new album.

And just as a secret, I think the main reason why this is the song i like the most in the album is just because i feel 100% like the lyrics to it. You know it's true, dont you? :)

Dreaming Light

Suddenly... life has new meaning
Suddenly... felling is being

And you shine inside
And love stills my mind like the sunrise
Dreaming light of the sunrise

Suddenly... you dont have to be afraid
Suddenly... all falls into place

And you shine inside
And love stills my mind like the sunrise
Dreaming light of the sunrise
Dreaming light and...

I feel you but I don't really know you
I dreamed of you from the moment I saw you
And I've seen the sunrise in your eyes
The sky... the sea... the light

So live your dream beneath the northern horizon
Be at peace, set your heart in flight again
For the light is truth...
The light is you...

In a manner of speaking

This song is for you, because... " the way I feel about you is beyond words!" :)

Morocco!

Oh Morocco, Morocco...!
We took off from Luxembourg towards Frankfurt and from there to Africa! My first time outside Europe. An amazing experience in some many ways, and so different from what I was used to. And so it began, the trainees final trip!

Some stories...

1) Burocracy at the airports. Do I look like a terrorist? I don't think so! So, why the drama?

2) Our taxi driver took us to the wrong hotel

3) we wanted to buy shampoo, gel, deodorant, etc. and we did, thank god. but, it looked like the products were there for sale for years, covered in dust. that makes you wonder :x

4) first contact with the african beach - always with the perfect company by my side :)

5) the food. what the hell is wrong with the hygien and methods of that people? let's not talk about the time they take to serve you :x

6) Casanova. My new nickname. Imagine: we, at the beach, 7 girls, 1 boy. 2 guys passing by, looking, shins on the ground, say to me: You must be some kind of casanova! do you need help? how do you do this? ahah! I really felt like a king in Morocco! But ladies, I already have a queen, and just one :) sorry :P

7) Essaouira/Mogador. 6 trainees and one taxi driver = 7 people. where? in 1 cab for 5 people. What about the police? what if they catch us? no worries. they saw, they waved, they smiled! Morocco style they say!! ahah. But the sight was amazing, I love the ocean, wild, surrounded by rocks. Heaven to see.

8) The market. So dirty, so filthy, so... i dont even know. But well I bought a Chelsea t.shirt there, the only one that looked real and clean!

9) The camels and the sand. "150 dirham! 100 dirham! 50 each! 20 dirham! Agadir Agadir Agadir! Taxi Taxi! 20 dirham, 20 dirham, 20 dirham, pour tout! oui? no? ce soir? later? ok ok! Agadir Agadir Taxi Taxi!" No need to say more :x

10) last but not least, the moment I call the baptism of two souls in the atlantic :) the most important moment of them all!

and so it was Morocco! I could say so much more, but my friends , I do need to work, so these were the highlights!

Next trip: Portugal!

Headspace

Go ahead...
Taste with your eyes,
Feel with your head,
And think with your heart.

Inflatable

I have almost forgotten how beautiful and perfect life can be. How good it is to be able to feel that way again! This kind of happiness has no price. This kind of feelings have no possible words to describe them. I wait to stay like this forever.

"And I've only just become inflatable for you"

Bliss

Give me all the piece and join in your mind...!

Kayak / Them Crooked Vultures

Hello my friends! It's been a week since I last wrote something here! But well it's because I've been having a wonderful time!!
Last weekend was amazing, jogging, kayaking (with the best of companies!) and playing football. My body is alive again! I would feel like I was 17 if it wasnt for a vein/muscle that is about to explode :x maybe I should go to a doctor and fix it, I know.. :x
And yesterday.. wow.. two amazing concerts!! And So I Watch From Afar and Them Crooked Vultures! The first band is a new irish band, they sound a lot like 65 days of static, Explosions and the sky and Love is colder than death, they are powerful on stage, trust me!! And the second band, well they dont need to be introduced, but here it goes.. Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and John Paul Jones.. do I need to say more? The concert went straight up to my top 10!! And trust me I've seen a lot of concerts..!
Doubt of day... Spend 110 and go to Paris to see Muse for the 7th time? I wish I had more money.. Because since I'm going to Morocco in 10 days I'll need all the money I can have :x oh well, we'll see ;)

This mess we're in...

Can you hear them
The helicopters
I'm in New York
No need for words now
We sit in silence
You look me
In the eye directly
You met me
I think it's Wednesday
The evening
The mess we're in
And ooooh...

The city sunset over me

Night and day
I dream of
Making love
To you now baby
Love making
On screen
Impossible dream
And I have seen
The sunrise over the river
The freeway
Reminding of
This mess we're in
And ooooh...

The city sunset over me

What were you wanting / What was that you wanted
I just wanna say
Don't ever change now baby
I'd thank you
I don't think we will meet again
And you must leave now
Before the sun rises
Over the skyscrapers
And the city landscape comes into view
Sweat on my skin
Oh
This mess we're in
Ooooh...

The city sunset over me...

Hollywood Party

Just a picture from our last party, so you can see how much fun we're having here! Long live the party committee! :D

Inner silence

Happy Children's day! I don't know about you but I certaintly feel like one. I just hope I can hold this way of feeling for a long, long time! Only bad part of the day is that I'm at my office, working (although, as some sort of gift from above, not that much work today, at least comparing to the previous days), instead of being outside, under the sun, planting a tree and running around doing some games! I miss primary and secondary school days! Nothing to worry about, just living as if there would be no tomorrow at all...!

Dirty Vegas

Days go by

You

Still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

You

Leave me when I'm at my worst
Feeling as if I've been cursed
Bitter cold within

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you

You

Still a whisper on my lips
A feeling at my fingertips
That's pulling at my skin

Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Days go by and still I think of you
Days when I couldn't live my life without you
Without you...

Red colored stars

There comes a time to think.
The icelandic ashes that turn the night skies to red are as unpredictable as my future seems to be. I have no ticket to go away, nor the certainty enough to stay. I have places to sleep, but I have no home. I have my things scattered all around the world and I wonder how, when and where we'll reunite. The answers? I wish I knew them already. Hope there's no need to sell what's left of my soul.

The time is now

When I find no words to describe what's going on in my mind I always seem to find the lyrics to a song where I can see the reflection of my emotions. Lately this is the one that better mirrors my soul...

The time is now

You're my last breath
You're a breath of fresh air to me
Hi, I'm empty
So tell me you care for me

You're the first thing
And the last thing on my mind
In your arms I feel
Sunshine

On a promise
A day dream yet to come
Time is upon us
Oh but the night is young

Flowers blossom
In the winter time
In your arms I feel
Sunshine

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Let's make this moment last

You may find yourself
Out on a limb for me
Could you expect it as
A part of your destiny

I give all I have
But it's not enough
And my patience is shot
So I'm calling your bluff

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Let's make this moment last

And we gave it time
All eyes are on the clock
But time takes too much time
Please make the waiting stop

And the atmosphere is charged.
In you I trust.
And I feel no fear as I
Do as I must.

Give up yourself unto the moment
The time is now
Give up yourself unto the moment
Let's make this moment last.

Tempted by fear
And I won't hesitate
The time is now
And I can't wait

I've been empty too long
The time is now
Took a chance and now it's gone
And the time has come
Let's make this moment last
And the night is young
The time is now.
Let's make this moment last.

Logic will break your heart

In Oslo, I found a very old and dusty book with one poem in it.
At first I read it paying not enough attention.
But then I felt something strange, I felt it was familiar, it said more than it should, it was a message to me maybe, I don't know.
All I know is that i am connected to it now.
And so I share it...

Remember, by Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

The Oslo Report

It will be impossible to put in one blog entry all that has happened in the Oslo trip.
Hence I'll share with you some of the highlights.
One thing is for sure: It is nice to portuguese no matter where in the world.
People always come to you in a mysterious and unexpected way.
First example of that happened as soon as we landed.
This norwegian girl came to me with some crazy eyes asking me just: "what is your language? I must know. I find it very interesting!"
She could have found a better excuse, no?
But the portuguese language/nationality does not end here.
Not even close.
We were out in the streets on one of our walks around Oslo when we decided to enter a shop to buy some ice cream (yes, in 4 of the 5 days in Oslo there was sun and some warmth! unbelievable!) when a couple came to us (completely drunk at 5 o'clock in the afternoon) and they said they knew our language and that they like the portuguese people so they invited us to a private party in their apartment.
We thought something like: "what the hell? but why not?" and so we went. Free alcohol, free food, funny conversations, etc.
Worth it!
And what about the world being a very small place?
How strange is it when you meet in the streets of Oslo someone you met before in some other country some months before?
Strange indeed, but factual!
Oh well, many stories!
But the rest my friends, stays with me.

Destination: Norway

And the moment has come my friends: Oslo here I go!
No matter if it snows or not, if there's ash in the air or not: good times are ahead.
But still, I'll have some things that won't leave my mind for a single second, it is usually like that when the future is on someone's hands, not yours, and everything is like a clouded sky where the sun may shine or where the rain may fall. The return will be hard. Anyway, for now, let's focus on the trip! Hope to bring back some stories, as usual! If I don't write again you know how to find me: Call Widmore, or the dharma initiative, they'll know ahah ;)

Benfica Campeão!

Campeões! Campeões! Nós somos campeões!! SLB! SLB! SLB! Glorioso SLB! :D

Macramé wounds

Everything has an expiration date.
From chocolate bars, to yoghurts, a cereal box, but also an experience, a reality, a dream, even life.
Everything disappears eventually.
Sometimes when the expiration date has been reached there's no point in feeding ourselves from its content.
Well most of the times you can do it but what happens then?
If you eat bad food you will be intoxicated.
You'll be sick.
Imagine then how it is like when you consume an emotion that no longer exists.
You'll be eating a tasteless, dead, rotting feeling that for some reason vanished.
And trust me, if it has vanished, the reasons will exist, you may or may not want to see them and/or believe them, but there's no turning back.
It's true that you can still feed on those once true emotions, but then you'd be poisoning your body and soul, and for what reason?
You crave an emotion sickness?
We all know the consequences.
But I'll help you all, what do you do when the bread is hard and mouldy?
You throw it to garbage, right?
Well I do, and you should too.
But some think they can still have that piece of bread instead of going out with a supermarket list featuring a fresh one.
And so with the help of a knife they remove the mould and with the help of a toaster they bring some tenderness back to the crumb.
And this is how you fool yourself.
And the bread as well! (ok, this sounded funny to me! ahah)
I mean you will probably not enjoy it at all anyway and you'll probably be at home, in bed, for two or three days, thinking why on earth have you done so!
And the bread... well, it will feel desire and a narcissistic breeze over it's dead skin (and will work its revenge from your inside probably).
So just go and buy a new one, and remember that probably there will be a soft and tender piece of bread waiting for you in some supermarket shelf (and it won't cost that much anyway!).
It will be worth it.
Every piece of crumb.
And I hope that after this post you will all still eat bread and don't fear the attack of an evil, old, smelly, mouldy, hard piece of bread ahah ;)

Borrow

This was the music of the weekend, although it is 12 years old already! (It's by a portuguese band that no longer exists but they had something special in their songs back then.) And today is tuesday and I'm still singing it, so here's my homage to it.





You're never with me
you're never near me
What time is it?
What time?
Whose time is this?
Give yourself a chance to breathe
I'll give you the room you need


You're never here
You're never near here
What day is this?
What day?
Whose day is this?
Put me in your supermarket list
I'm here, I'm real, it's true, I do exist


Today you may feel a little sleepy
Maybe the morning is too soon
I guess I'll have to borrow
One of your sunny afternoons
But afternoons they never come
There's nothing left for me to borrow


I guess I'll try again tomorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow


You're wasting me
You're breaking, you're wasting me
Can this be love?
Is this?
Whose love is this?
What is wrong with you?
I don't know
No place in you for me
And me, I need you so


And if you want to be by yourself
No one disturbing, that's alright
I guess I'll have to borrow
A little of yourself tonight
But tonight it never comes
There's nothing left for me to borrow


I guess I'll try again tomorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow


It may seem a little hollow
But I'll try again tomorrow


There's nothing left for me to borrow
I guess I'll try again tomorrow

One common destination

Sometimes life is... funny.
In a strange and scary way, but funny nevertheless.
How curious is it when every morning you enter the same bus, at the same stop, at the same time and there you have the same faces looking at you, some even with a smile.
Some of those faces even have a voice, they start to say hello, they nod goodbye, and sometimes when you meet them on the street they wave as if they know you.
However, those faces with voices must have a name, although I still don't know it.
So far so good, nothing out of the ordinary.
What makes me wonder is how and/or why when you are early or you are late, and you take a different bus, most of the faces are not recognizable, you enter a kingdom that is not yours, but, in the middle of the unknown there's always that smile that stalks you in an odd and yet arousing way no matter how late or soon you are.
Why do faces change but that one is always there?
Should I call the police?
Shall I not even care?
Tomorrow, when I enter the bus again, I will decide.

Dracula's bride

This is an amazingly rare song from an amazingly rare band, this song was created in 1994 and is only on a limited edition EP that is unavailable since ever. I never knew how I got to know this song or this band, but I always knew there was a reason. And now I found it.

----

She looks like a doll of dracula's bride,
Doesn't dare to say hello, wouldn't dare to say goodbye..
Couldn't care for the joys and don't stand for the lies,
Friends holding judges to look at the part...
But don't get close enough to be that on her mind
She can't get close enough, so they left with the tide...

Obviously, she'...s got it together so nicely
Obviously, a living legend that might not breathe here...

Except for her hair, she's slim figured and fair
And the neck you would lick only given the chance...
She's a cult porno queen in a mainstream romance
She's a dainty young lass, she's a bite on the head...
All mixed up in a view of you two in her bed
That she's a cult porno queen that's been pulled from this dream...

-----

The hummingbird

Sometimes I think to myself: my life feels like a movie. But well, not anymore. Now I think to myself: my life feels like a book! I remember when I read The Raven, Poe's short story, and how freaky it was. Well, now I'm experiencing something similar! But with an hummingbird! For the past 3 days, it always comes at the same time, stays a couple of minutes looking into my office and then leaves. It feels like it is bringing me a message or something, and that freaks me out a bit! It also reminds me of Matrix (ok, so my life can still be a movie) and the appearence of the bird is just a deja vu that warns me that this reality isn't real at all! (So Morpheus, care to call and ask about the pills?). If I see that bird again I'm calling a doctor!

Twilight

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time
Better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
But don't wanna see the day when it's dying

She's a sight to see
She's good to me
(But I'm already somebody's baby)
She's a pretty thing
And she knows everything
(But I'm already somebody's baby)

You don't deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won't make you feel better
Pretty soon you'll find it's the only
Little part of your life you're keeping together

I'm nice to you
I could make it through
That you're already somebody's baby
I could make you smile
If you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby

Because your candle burns too bright
Well I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well I'm tired of being down, I got no fight

You're wonderful
When it's beautiful
(But I'm already somebody's baby)
And if i went with you
I'd disappoint you too
(Well I'm already somebody's baby)

---------------------------------

If I could re-write this song, changing just a couple of lines, it would be the perfect mirror of my soul at this moment.

It can't rain all the time...

So please, help me keeping the rain away. If this is meant to be, don't let our raindrops fall on me...

I could escape

And she says... shhhh! oh she says...!

Another future

You can choose.
You can decide.
It's your will.
It's my desire.
It's our mistake
or maybe
It's our fate.

I make a move.
You don't look back.
I hold your hand.
You grab mine back.
It's not our past.
Is it meant to last?
Prepare to clash!

It's our soundtrack.
It's our motion picture.
You ran from him.
You run to me.
I keep you close.
I give you my dream.
Give me your life.

Lose yourself

What a weekend!

Friday was the Rock and Roll party, and though I'm a bit mad at the dj (how couldn't he understand that some songs weren't rock and roll? oh dear lord...), it was a great party, we did good profit, we had a lot of fun, most got drunk ahah, and we got to dress up for the joy and fun of it as you can see below...



Saturday was a day to chill... with some special moments!

And Sunday.. Barbecue at K'ramba mansion!

Me sighs!

Mirror Mirror

Sometimes it seems like the days just fly by and you don't know the reasons why.
And sometimes you have so much to write about and not even a single word comes to your head.
Or worse, when they do, you must keep them to yourself because the world isn't ready for them.
However, I still have my mirrors to enquire, to search through a blurred image caused by my hangover bloodshot eyes that tend to forget what the mind cares to erase.
Enough ramblings for today, this ain't no poetry workshop to lay vain words.
I had an amazing week, loads of parties, non-sleeping nights, trips, barbecues, football, you name it! Even if you do mistakes it seems like the world is nevertheless ready to wave back at you and give away a smile.
This week, well, I'll try to behave, at least until friday, when we'll have a Rock 'n' Roll party! And let me tell you again, it's not easy to organize this things, but after doing it you have this feeling of satisfaction and you have some rewards to help you through! Let's hope it goes as well as the pirate party did!
Stay tuned for more!

The sky is a landfill

Hmm.. Just had an amazing weekend! Friday night we all went out and we headed to K'ramba to discuss the plans for the coming party! It will on the 23rd April, so time for the committee to work. Remy was the host there and we all celebrated the deal with some very nice shots, and it was a very very long night..!
The next day... well I went to France again! (It's sooo far away..) This time Nancy was the destination. A very nice city, way better then Metz (the closest one) although wherever you would look you would see a kebab restaurant and turkish weddings. France is losing its identity or, in a more polite way, is turning into a new America, a true melting pot?
Sunday was a day to chill after the fun, so we all went to Cassie's place to watch some movies and drink some cold Sagres beers and to eat some delicious fajitas!
And well, today is monday again... and a hard day it will be! I have to work until five, but then I have french and german classes till 9 pm.. and I'll probably go for some beers after, although I know I shouldn't, but who cares anyway, right?

Up all night

This is the song that sums up my week, so no need to write an explanatory entry when the lyrics to the song just say it all! Enjoy it ;)

Up all night

I lost the sacred feeling
But I made a couple of friends
And now our things have never looked so good
Our things have never been so clear...

And now I'm all alone here
And I'm always up all night
And I get the music ringing in my head
And I, I lose the strength to fight...

Cause I've been up all night,
She's been up all night,
We're just up all night...

This town is for the counterfeit dreams
And maybe I'm one too
Well I, I keep my hand behind my back
When I don't know what else to do...

The streets that I grew up in
they might mean nothing to you
But I, I'll show you where I come from
If you please just tell me what I'm supposed to do...

That sweet and sacred feeling,
You know, will never last long
Every time you turn around
It seems one more part of me, yes, It's gone...

And I need your spirit darling
And I need your helping hand
And I'll meet you in the morning
When I've broken up the band...



.

Push the limits

"the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you are going and just enjoy where you are at!"

We all think about the future don't we? If only we could predict things and hence change them when we want them to be different... The thing is I'm now thinking: hum, when will I get back? how will I get back? where will I go? I have this feeling that I have no home to go anywhere anymore, I'm homesick without knowing where home is, I'm homeless although I have a roof, because I know that everything is uncertain and that nothing is clear about my future. I love the carpe diem and the memento mori ideas, I do, and I usually stick to them, but well we all need to stop and think sometimes. And so I did, so it's done. Now? No more thinking about yesterday or tomorrow, just thinking about today, because the future is all about what you do in the present, so you know what to do...!

Kismet

Kismet means something like Fate or Destiny in turkish, and so as you may easily guess it can be used when we speak about something we believe it's already meant to be. But Kismet is a bit more than that. It's a whole sequence of events that no matter how you try to avoid or modify them they will happen anyway, 'cause they are the reason why you are alive, they are the plot you must follow, willingly or not, consciously or not, so you can fulfil your role. So do you think you are here for a reason? Do you believe in Kismet? I believe that there's a reason for everything that happens to us, but at the same time I think we shouldn't behave like a boat sailing in the ocean with no port to reach, we must find our goals, we must know and decide what we want to fight for, and if we do, Kismet will take care of the rest... ;)

An envoy to the open fields!

No matter what: life is beautiful! :D

And so here are some pictures of my new life!

At Grund...



At Cents...



At Pirate Party...



At Rock box...

Uncomfortable silences and alcohol

"In the end, it's the «what ifs» that hurt the most. What if things had gone a little differently?"

And so it is. Sometimes I just sit and wonder about things that could have gone the other way. You know what I mean? When for example you decide to take a leap of faith, when you think you’re doing the best thing and it’s worth to take the risk, but it turns out you just f*cked things up. It doesn't mean it's your fault though. Sometimes it ain't nobody's fault. Just bad timing? Can be. Someone once told me that timing is the most important thing in life, sometimes are not the words or actions that matter, not the way you say or do things, but when. Unfortunately I have a very bad karma when it comes to timing. I usually create this butterfly effect or snowball movement that just changes everything for the worst. I used to have good instincts (although I confess I never ever cared about them, and I'm glad cause I might have lost even more if I listened to those voices whispering fears into my head) but now even those scared spirits that walked around seemed to have disappeared. And so I go and do my thing. Shame on me. Or not. But anyway, I'm usually so sure I thought things deeply and cautiously and ‘cause I did so I'm free to take a move and so I do, although only when the moment comes I realize I haven't really thought things up. But what’s the point of living a life in fear? What’s the point of not following your dreams? Why give up of something without even trying? Yes, sometimes we lose. But yes, sometimes we win! But there’s always one thing that never abandons you… that feeling of: “what if…”. What if I turned right instead of turning left? What would have changed? Would I be happier? Would I be sadder? Would I even be here? One thing I know for sure, no matter how many and how disturbing some “what ifs” may be, I never regret the things I did, I never regret the words I said, because if I did or said them then it means they were true and real to me. And if fate is on our side, sooner or later things will work out right. We need patience, we need courage, we need some faith, but most important of all we need to take the risks and be strong enough to not be consumed by the "what ifs" that will always taunt us. My words will always be real. You just need to believe in them. I'll be here.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances and how it’s just about overcoming your fears 'cause the truth is every time you take a big risk in your life no matter how it ends up you are always glad you took it"

Let it die

Yesterday I started my french and german classes. I have the will and motivation necessary to start to learn these two again. I confess I was surprised by one thing, I though that by now I wouldn't be able to have such a good knowledge on those languages, but my head was then flooded by words and expressions that only needed a map! So here we go! And tomorrow I'll start one of my biggest challenges: Hungarian classes! I really want to learn that language! Let's see if I can do it! Wish me luck!

And don't forget: We should never kill our will and motivation.

Plug in baby

I've always made a bit of fun of this lyrics, even if they are from my favourite band. And this is actually one of my favourite songs ever, but only now I feel the dark side of the words that are sang. It's like a funny way of saying some truth you wanted but couldn't say. So enjoy, the lyrics and music of the day! ;)

I've exposed your lies, baby!
The underneath is no big surprise!
Now it's time for changing...
And cleansing everything...
To forget your love!

My plug in baby
Crucifies my enemies
When I'm tired of giving!

My plug in baby
In unbroken virgin realities
Is tired of living

Don’t confuse,
Baby, you're gonna lose your own game!
Change me, replace the envying
To forget your love!

And I feel your loving,
Mine is gone!
And I’ve been in trouble...

Bulletproof Cupid

What a weekend my friends!
The pirate party was such a big success! I was expecting something really good, but it was even better than all I could imagine! Once again, let me tell you I'm proud of us in the Party Committee! The trips committee will appreciate our profit as well I'm pretty sure! Let us just not go to Portugal please!
The party was special in many aspects. For example, I learnt how to do a new shot and I learnt how it is like to be working in a bar, "performing" the art of mixing! And a perky job it is! Let's say everybody really notices you when you're the person doing the drinks (now I know what my barman friends used to say!). I was also impressed with the amount of "strangers" that decided to join us and how many of them and of us trainees came with costumes! Some people had really nice disguises! I myself tried a mixture of Jack Sparrow with Tupac ahah, one surprise I had was the compliments on the eyeliner, odd :P
But well not everything was perfect, the dj could have been a bit better (although he played one muse song by my request - I got the power, huh!). But the real problem about the dj was that at the end of the night the owner of the bar asked for a round of applause (in order to end the night, it's common here) and that way the dj thinks he was good.. It's like when you do something bad and no one has the courage to tell you that wasnt a good thing to do, so you continue to do it thinking you are right, but anyway, if we hire him again, we'll give him some tips! But I had more joy than disappointaments, and to them I'd just say: I'm glad I'm talented enough to just not care! Now, I'm already planning the next party, gonna gather my committee soon!
And that's it for the party... If you want more details.. Join us the next one in April ;)

Pirate Party!

Today is the day!
Let's all dress up as pirates and conquer the night!

"you'll walk home from the party drunk on bacardi and listening to the voices that lie to you nightly and make you sorry for something"

Sober

And this is the final part of the poem triology I've written in March, hope you enjoy it. No matter what, memories will prevail.

The last matinée

Fear is on your side
And so you run,
And so you hide.

You can't go on living on your fears
Because you'll lose your heart,
You'll end up in tears.

I thought our chemistry was real,
It seemed to me it was impossible to conceal,
So why do you try so hard to smother this emotion?
Why throw me away and leave me to drown in this ocean?
I'm already lost on your salty waves...
Can I at least tell you what my soul craves?

We could be prince and princess...
You know I'm a dreamer
Hence there's no need to confess.

We could defy the gods...
We could win this bet against all the odds.

But, oh, how you sway...
Is this a game you want to play?

So give me your reasons why,
I need you to testify.
Although no matter what you'll say
My feelings won't change or go away.
And though now my words are frail,
They're still here following your trail.

I won't give up on the dream,
One day I'll sweep you off your feet
And then we'll be complete...

The end

3 libras

If i could be one song today I'll definitly be this one...

"Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name
In your recollection
Down among a million same

Difficult not to feel a little bit
Disappointed and passed over
When I've looked right through
See you naked but oblivious
And you don't See Me

But I threw you the obvious
Just to see if there's more behind
the Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy
Here I am expecting
just a little bit Too much from the wounded
But I see, see through it all
And see through
See you
So I threw you the obvious
To see what occurs
behind the Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Oh well
Oh well
Apparently nothing
Apparently nothing at all"

Symmetry

We all have ghosts. Sometimes they are here to scare us, to taunt us, some other times they are nothing more than memories that we either love or hate (or both). Anyway they will only appear if we want them to (consciously or unconsciously). They might appear just as a blurry image, they might be far, or they might be just beside us telling us all the secrets we were craving to know, just like in Hamlet's play. Sometimes they appear during daylight, others are creatures of the night with vampire alter-egos, some struck us while we are daydreaming, others have a home in our nightmares at night. But no matter how fond or how scared we are from this ghosts they are a reminder of something we left behind and it's only up to us to decide if we let them live or if we should kill the ghost someone left behind. I find ghosts entertaining, but I'm getting a bit tired and bored by their existence...
"Did I really see you or was it a dream?"

Tongue tied

Today I find it hard to share my thoughts because my words don't seem to find their way. So today I offer you just a song, for I have no words left to say.

Just go on being you

Someone once asked me if I was an idiot for believing in some things I apparently should not. I answered with a no. I'm just a dreamer.

Until the next life

Sometimes life is like a television game show. You have to answer many questions, you always have multiple choices, they say they'll offer you something, they say you're unlucky for not having won, they say you can always try again. But the worst part is when you are winning. Seriously. Because you've done everything the right way, you said the right words, you used your tricks, you were focused, and it was clear you were going to the final and so you did. And there you are, knowing it all, or so you'd think, so sure about what you were going to say and decide. You don't even need to know what your options are because you are so sure of what you want. And so the host asks you one final time: "Is that you want to do? No doubts?" and without even blinking your eyes you just say the most confident yes of your whole life. Seconds later you realize you've lost it all. You don't know how or why, it makes no sense to you, still doesn't, but, after all, It was the wrong choice, or so they make you think. And for now you walk away, still thinking about the reasons and if it was really your fault. But the most important question remains: "although you've lost, do you still think it was right choice? would you do the same thing again?". You pick your stuff up the floor, you put your coat on, you close the door beyond you and you just say goodbye without looking back. at least for now...

"Don't throw me away... Am I weak for saying that I needed you?"

Creeped out by the crypt!

Today we went to Metz. It was all about churches, crypts, and so on. Could have been better, it was rainy as it gets. Anyway it was fun, as always! With the right people everything is fun! And tonight... Two parties on the way! So I hope I survive.. ;)

Hold the line!

Today, celebrating the fact that I have a new LCD screen to use with my broken laptop, I decided to re-watch some old episodes of Scrubs and I specially enjoyed the final episode of the 3rd season. It ends with a very good monologue from JD and a very good soundtrack, eight days a week, by the beatles!

"I guess that in the end things seldom work out the way you expect.
Sometimes fate is on your side, other times, well, you have kind of sealed your own fate.
Either way you have to trust that whatever is supposed to happen will happen."

Adieu Marseille!

Je suis super content aujourd'hui! Je veux dire: Adieu Marseille, adieu mes amis! ahah! La victoire!! C'est ravissant!

Palace of mirrors

Today I'll start with a note to myself: Need to stop looking to every single object/building/car where I can see my reflection. I'll get in trouble someday ahah.

Oh well, yesterday was Saint Patrick's day and I realized a strange thing: some people need these excuses to drink! C'mon! Haven't you heard that it's Christmas whenever a man wants it to be? So, it can be Saint Patrick's whenever a man wants as well! Think about it.

Second note to self: It doesnt matter how much crap you say, be strong and remain sober :x ahah

Good news about today: It's not cold!!

Bad news: time to work...

Narcotic

I've been finding new addictions and I've been also renewing old ones, not all of them are good but they all make me have fun or make me feel just fine. But none of them are that bad, don't be misguided by the title! I'm just a pleasure seeker looking for new domes where I can make my heart pound twice as fast! And yesterday night I found one of my new pleasure domes for the coming months of that I'm sure. Name of the place: Liquid. You can go there, sit on the couches, having a beer, talking with friends and listening to live jazz bands. Does it get any better after a working day? And talking about work... here I go again!

Spread your love like a fever

Today I was on auto pilot mode. It's nicer to put it this way when in fact I was more in a zombie mode. At least I felt inspired. And so I'll share my new text.

Apocalypse

Our worlds collide.
With fully loaded and driven hearts
We crave for unknown seductive darts.

Our worlds collapse.
And so we meet in the chorus of a song
That this time the gods decided not to play wrong.

Our worlds tremble.
We'll share this neverending dance
That we promised ourselves in our first glance.

But the air changed tonight...

I feel I was led astray,
I'm what's left of a cigarette crushed against the ashtray.
Doubts are creeping in and out
And here I lay looking for the right words to shout.
Sadly I don't know if you're still so unaware,
Because honestly it seems to me that you know but just don't care.

Yet let us wait for our worlds to clash once again.
Then we'll know what path we'll follow,
Then we'll know if we can call the future our tomorrow.

And so I fall into you...

the end.

The magic belt / Trier / The rescue of the element - Weekend edition

Sleeping is still an option unavailable. It's just like when you want to buy something that is already sold out and no matter what and how you try it you won't get it. But no harm done. Yet.

Anyway let us catch up on the weekend! Friday night I've been to a kind of party that I haven't been for a while, some sort of a WG party (for those who know what that is). However... It could have been better, but it had very nice moments as well. One of them is now known as: The magical belt! I have this belt for so long and only now I've discovered why I bought it. can you guess why? well it turns out that my belt opens beer bottles! How great is that? I won't tell you more, but you can imagine (cough)...

The next day was the Trier trip day. A very nice saturday in my "Zweite Heimat". I think I'll go there a couple of times more during this months, it's worth it. And the german beer... hmm... how I've missed it! (when I have the photos I'll share one or two here, I need to fix my camera, so I'm counting on the others this far).

Finally the rescue of the element... My mother always calls me asking for random things like: "oh, how's the weather?"; "how's the food?"; "you have a roof, right?"; and one of the most common ones: "any problems with the laundry?"; Well, yesterday I had a "braveheart" fight with the detergents and machines and whatever you want to name just so I could save one t-shirt. But I did! Lesson learned: always listen to your mother when she says something about the laundry. It will save you sometimes. Strange, hun?

And well a new week has just started and now it's time to work...

Far thy well!

Allegro Vivace

Fast, lively and bright! That's how I'd sum up the week! A very "Allegro Vivace" one! Or "Agitato Prestissimo" even! Anyway. Last week I went to Brussels as you know and tomorrow I'm going back to Germany! I haven't been there since I left in 2007 after my Erasmus and although I won't be going to Aachen or Leipzig ("my cities") there's still this feeling of coming back "home" even if for just a little while. But that's only tomorrow... life's still on track I'd say but at a very increasing pace and tonight... there's another party! It's good to be here! I'll rejoin our virtual corner on monday. Have a nice weekend you all!

Red lights and signs are nothing but suggestions!

No matter what you do in life there always seems to be some kind of rules (or as they sometimes say - guidelines). Some people accept them without even questioning whether they are right or wrong, they just do as they are told in a robotic way. Of course there are rules we really need to follow, like at work, that's understandable, but in some other cases in our lifes some of these rules are there just to numb you out, to take away your will or criativity. So let me say that to me life is just like crossing the street: you can cross it even if the light is red, it's up to you, it's nothing more than a "suggestion", you just need to be careful, but you are free.

Anyway, let me also share that in the first 8 week days of March I was offered free alcohol in 7 of them. Don't know yet if this is a good thing or not, but I won't complain that's for sure!

Yesterday we in the communications committee (yes, I'm on this one too, am I megalomaniac? most likely...) started to plan our magazine! Pretty excited about the idea! So as you can see there's so much to do here and so little time to do all we want to do... Tell me, how will I cope? Work, friends, parties, sports, magazines, teaching and learning languages, etc...! I sure I'm excited about all this, just hope my body has the strenght to be fit each and every second! (Cause I'm still not sleeping... I'll try though, I promise! even if it'll be just one more hour per day.)

Just like Alice in Wonderland

The days are cold and though the sun shines in the sky above there's not much we can take from it. The wind blows its icy breathe from all directions and it is impossible not to feel your bones shouting for a sweet and warm sandy beach somewhere. But this is no time for daydreaming, got work to do! Still i want to share with you that yesterday I saw Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland! A very nice movie indeed! (But has Burton made any bad movie?!) And it inspired me to write something, not just the movie of course, but let's say it's a metaphorical way to express myself using its content. (and the rest is a secret of course!) Here it goes (probably it's not that good, but you'll be the judges of it!):

Down the rabbit hole

She was lost,
She was dreamy,
She was so unaware.
She had to go although she didn't know where.
But there were no clouds in her sky,
Her halo was as bright as the fireflies that flew by.
Oh, if she knew the world was on the palm of her hand...
However, she couldn't yet find her way,
Just like Alice in Wonderland.

Yet there's so much you would know if you listened to her sighs,
and so much you would realize just by looking into her eyes,
Because she's still a canvas in need of new dreams,
I might be mistaken but I heard so in her screams.
And still she looks for the perfect weapon for the perfect crime,
not realizing she'll soon run out of time.

But I'll be here keeping the rain away,
I'll be here until the end so I can listen to everything she has to say,
For I don't want to be a memory that would soon be sold,
I want to be her favourite character in the best story she has ever told.
Yet for now we go our own way,
As she remains lost, dreamy and unaware,
At least for one more day.

The end.

Into the wild - phase I

So here we go...

As promised here's my new blog where you can find out (almost) everything about my new european adventure! (dark secrets will not be shared here, be aware! Unless I'm writing under the influence of some sort of substance that changes my reasoning) This time around I'm in the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg (sounds posh aye!) for a traineeship in the European Commission for the next five months. There's already so much to tell but let us start from the beginning...

First of all, this will be a place for all: friends from back home, friends around the world and also my dear fellow trainees! You are welcome in my humble virtual home!

The story begins like this...

I'm sure you are all aware that I ain't that much of a sane person, so instead of coming here by plain.. I came by bus! 27 "amusing" hours amongst the strangest of characters. Oh well, I'm used to it.. after the interrails, cruises, trips, and so on, I'm pretty much up to face anything with a smile on my lips. And so I arrived. Most people are living by themselves, some are living in dodgy areas, some are even paying a fortune for a small room.. well, I think I was lucky! Seriously! I'm living with friends, we're 9 portuguese (some from Castelo Branco! we're everywhere, like a plague!) in a fancy little "villa" in the suburbia, and guess what? I even have sportv there! (Benficaaaa!) One other good thing is that my flatmates all work in bars, they are the kings of the night here, so they've been introducing me to Lux's nightlife. I won't go into details here, let me just say my body is enjoying and complaining at the same time (you figure it out, not hard to understand why ;P ).

Let us go on.

First week of work.

First day. I walked into a room where's like 5 men and 40 women! (and I won't comment on that, my thoughts will remain a secret on the subject ahah!). We're already a strong group that will most likely be very a close one, or so I hope. More on the subject on days to come ;)

By the way I've already some nicknames here like "the tour guide" or "the party guy"! (not bad ones aye!)

Second day: Trip to Brussels! It was very nice indeed, got a chance to meet new people, also to see friends from the "past" like Marouane, Sofia and Matteo (thank you both by the way, once again, for letting me stay at your place)! We've stayed there for 3 days and then back "home".

Fifth day: I met my adviser and I was very pleased and lucky I'd say to have him as a mentor here! (I call him "the godfather"!) Pretty sure we'll get along and we'll work and have fun during the months to come! But not everything is about work (gladly!) and I'll be on the party committee! (It will be nice to arrange the partys, it's usually a job I know how to do!) So.. Party time! (I'll also be in the communications and sports - and I'll probably be teaching portuguese). But well, you know me, always the party guy! I guess it was clear to everybody here as well ;) Carpe diem my friends, carpe diem!

Weekend: Parties, Movies, Football! what more could I ask for? (More to come on the next episodes!)

And so this is my first post on the new adventure! If you have something you'd like to know about how things are going here, please be free to ask (don't be afraid! ahah)

PS: I've been writing poetry again... (but that's a story for another episode ;p )

Cheers, hugs and kisses to you all wherever you are!

Allez Luxembourg!

PS 2: and now... Hot chocolate time! It can't be beer all the time, right!?

The end.