Uncomfortable silences and alcohol

"In the end, it's the «what ifs» that hurt the most. What if things had gone a little differently?"

And so it is. Sometimes I just sit and wonder about things that could have gone the other way. You know what I mean? When for example you decide to take a leap of faith, when you think you’re doing the best thing and it’s worth to take the risk, but it turns out you just f*cked things up. It doesn't mean it's your fault though. Sometimes it ain't nobody's fault. Just bad timing? Can be. Someone once told me that timing is the most important thing in life, sometimes are not the words or actions that matter, not the way you say or do things, but when. Unfortunately I have a very bad karma when it comes to timing. I usually create this butterfly effect or snowball movement that just changes everything for the worst. I used to have good instincts (although I confess I never ever cared about them, and I'm glad cause I might have lost even more if I listened to those voices whispering fears into my head) but now even those scared spirits that walked around seemed to have disappeared. And so I go and do my thing. Shame on me. Or not. But anyway, I'm usually so sure I thought things deeply and cautiously and ‘cause I did so I'm free to take a move and so I do, although only when the moment comes I realize I haven't really thought things up. But what’s the point of living a life in fear? What’s the point of not following your dreams? Why give up of something without even trying? Yes, sometimes we lose. But yes, sometimes we win! But there’s always one thing that never abandons you… that feeling of: “what if…”. What if I turned right instead of turning left? What would have changed? Would I be happier? Would I be sadder? Would I even be here? One thing I know for sure, no matter how many and how disturbing some “what ifs” may be, I never regret the things I did, I never regret the words I said, because if I did or said them then it means they were true and real to me. And if fate is on our side, sooner or later things will work out right. We need patience, we need courage, we need some faith, but most important of all we need to take the risks and be strong enough to not be consumed by the "what ifs" that will always taunt us. My words will always be real. You just need to believe in them. I'll be here.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances and how it’s just about overcoming your fears 'cause the truth is every time you take a big risk in your life no matter how it ends up you are always glad you took it"